Since my last post of hope and idealism much has changed in our day to day life. I went from being more bored than any intelligent and capable person should have been to over filled days and not enough time. Just before Christmas Adam and I began driving the local school bus. It was a pretty good gig, an hour and a half in the morning and another 2 or so in the afternoon. It served to give some much needed structure to our days and it was nice to generate some income on my own. In case you weren't aware, I have a healthy and kicking independent streak :) In the fall we began volunteering at a local assisted living facility twice a week leading a group of exercises for the residents, and more recently began a job providing respite care to a wonderful little boy. Life was full, very full, but good.
Oh, and did I mention that I fell pregnant in the late fall as well?
And so here we are come almost full circle once again. I was rushing like a mad woman trying to garner enough hours to qualify for EI maternity benefits. It really wasn't about the money so much as it was a) to come so close and not make it is frustrating and b) after surviving some bitterly cold mornings with a reluctant toddler in tow it seemed wrong to quit when the weather was finally warm and c) refer to the previously mentioned independent streak. But I just kept feeling this gentle nudge whispering that these last few weeks as a family of three were precious and that being over scheduled wasn't in anyone's best interest. Adam has been the main focus of my existence for the last three years. That boy who is my angel and centre of the universe turns three on tuesday and I want to spend my time creating magical memories for him before his life gets turned upside down by a new arrival next month. And so, as of Friday I am officially unemployed and looking to make some magical summer memories :) Anyone is welcome to come along for the ride.
Nine months seems like such a long time at the outset. And here I am with six weeks to go and suddenly it's flown by and it seems that there's so much to do. It blows my mind that by the end of next month we are likely to have gone from a family of three to a family of four. Three year spacing likely doesn't look like all that much, but my heart yearned for this little one for such a long time before he/she (no we don't know the gender) came to be. This was exacerbated by a very early term miscarriage last year and so it all feels so much more precious this time around. I feel exceptionally blessed and I think I know how lucky I am. I don't want to waste a minute of it.
This year has been an interesting one in many ways. I'd like to think I've grown and evolved in meaningful ways, especially where my faith is concerned. I find myself feeling less and less tied now to the culture of mormonism, and wanting to associate myself and bear testimonies to the truths that I know as and where I find them. I want to be known as a disciple of Christ first, and maybe somewhere down the line a mormon if that's what matters. And I'm not so convinced that it is. Mormonism provides such an excellent framework for me to practice and exercise my faith and I'm grateful for it. But I don't think the title matters much. And there's so much more that I want to know! So much learning and growing to do, especially as it relates to Heavenly Mother. I want to be focusing on the basics. I want to be trying really hard to learn more about Christ and live like Him, LOVE like Him, and I want less and less of my time spent focusing on the other details. I've always been a big picture person and details often drive me mad. Which is why it's fortunate I married my husband. But so many of the details just...just don't seem as important to me.
Anyway, I hope that this update will suffice.
Here's to the start of a magical summer :)
